Finding our way with our dog by heart

man & border collar playing frisbee in snowYears ago a fellow named Vince, out in Colorado contacted me to purchase a collar pendant for his dog Ellie. I sell pendants made from gemstones that are suppose to help the wearer feel more courageous. Mostly I think they just make us feel good because they look nice. I suggested that Vince also try cheese and counter conditioning, just in case.

Over the years Vince has kept in touch, sending me updates on his life with Ellie. Like Ellie I think that he shares a bit of the border collie’s commitment to the task at hand. He never gave up on becoming Ellie’s friend. Thank you Vince for sharing the following story with us.

Ellie was terrified. I knew then that she would not stay in that despicable emotional or physical space. He told me she was not for sale. He didn’t understand! Her name then was Kay. Even today when lavishing praise a certain care needs to be exercised when saying “okay.” The books said change her name. They never said it would change my life. So I named her after my mother and looked for that extra bit of strength.

Ellie’s Long Road home had begun. It was, and seemingly will continue to be a long strange trip. The rest stops now are shorter and the smiles, dogs smile you know, almost nonstop.

Was Ellie a fearful dog or just suffering from PTSD. I chose the latter and gave her the space to do the work. It could’ve turned out another way but then that would be a different story. We are very fortunate; 15 acres of good pasture and 1/4 acre fenced grassy forests around the house where a dog could hide once she actually left the house. I am fortunate because my lovely bride Lefty was always Ellie’s protector, her caregiver in those first six months. Months that I rarely saw Ellie except for a flash of red and white in the tall grass or sitting still as an owl behind a Stickley chair. Anyplace where she was confident that I could not reach her.

We got Ellie in  the spring, and soon she had a path worn along the fence perimeter from hideout to hideout; the Holler, The Corner Pocket, and The Dew Drop Inn. It is most important to respect these hiding spots for two reasons. First they need to build trust and second even a lightning bolt won’t catch a border collie. You need to know  if they are fearful or just very cautious; the words stubborn, manipulative, spoiled, self-centered little… Come to mind but then I figured two things. First how she would flood so completely lying on Lefty’s lap and I came near and second, now three years later, when she is talking to me with her eyes; no kidding! Remember the dog does all the work. You just think of the opportunities. Sure despair, frustration, anger, rejection and hurt all exist in the same bag as hope, delight, joy, acceptance and happiness. Oh I forgot the boatloads of patience.

This is the dog that would only eat ice cream if she was at least an arms length away from me. My sleeve length is 38 inches. She’d take a graham cracker but only if I first dipped in milk. Even the Vet said you can’t do that. She will never eat dog food. Hell, I had already bought every food and type of dog food on the face of the earth. Now she eats her lamb and rice with a little cheese as long as I am sitting behind the counter. She’s a kick.

So okay what worked. We all know border collies are obsessive compulsive. In themselves not bad traits. It’s what makes them such hard workers. If you can put an obsession in front of a fear then you win. We found, kind of like Columbus found America, something that I saw her eyes watch more than me; A Frisbee; a flying squirrel to be exact. She would sit near Lefty just as we as we started throwing the frisbee to each other. She watched it like it was a herd of sheep and she was hooked. She still wouldn’t come in or out of the yard if I was near the gate but she would play frisbee. She wouldn’t come closer  to me than 15 feet but that wasn’t too bad even when you’re lying in a ground blizzard staring into those amber eyes just taking each others measure with no flooding.

There were red letter days When I got to scratch her stomach “no scratch no catch” worked. We played baseball with the frisbee. She would crouch on the ground ready while I kept up the color and play-by-play; He looks, gets the sign, checks the runner on first and third; goes into his windup, and she’d be off running where I looked or maybe was football. We’d line up, wide receiver split outside; set; 31 and BAM she’s off! Now she’ll come right to me roll over on my lap, get scratched until I say “number 31”  and she’s off. This is the same dog that in year 2 I could hold if Lefty was near and sing “Ellie Girl”  to the tune of “Danny Boy.”  But, year 2 passed into year three and we still had her in spite of those days when I would have traded her for a dry cow. Can’t sing “Ellie Girl” anymore; that took some learning. Things can work for a while and then they become part of the past; part of all bad memories. If it worked and then doesn’t lose it. That dog is ready to move ahead. Still the frisbee kept flying. Now when I see her in a full speed run both of us knowing I can hit her on the fly almost brings me to tears.

Then we got another border, a pup. I do not recommend this to everyone. There are so many ways it can go wrong. We were lucky. Hank and Ellie became fast friends almost at once. It brought Ellie back her childhood and she grew back up again.

She Saw Hank get in the truck and come back. She saw Hank come right to me and take a treat like a  graham cracker. She’ll do that now but they still have to be dipped in milk! She leaps into the future and trusts. This took some doing on her part. Don’t be afraid when things go south now and then. Imagine trying to build your life without words and what you need to do it. Remember the dog does all the hard work. You just need to understand and adjust; unafraid to try anything. Your life is like a taxi ride; it goes where you want it to. The dog’s life is like a train; on set rails.

You try everything and believe everything will work and when it doesn’t try something else. I bought Crystal charms, shameless plug it is, I think they worked. Single-handedly I kept the dog food industry in business. Now she eats Milkbones from my hands. For over a year I thought I might never leave the ranch. I was afraid I’d never get Ellie in the truck. Now sometimes I can’t get her out. Sure sometimes she needs to do some obscure ritual before she gets in but she gets in and that is the point right? Years went by when she would not come in the house when I was there. Now I can snap my fingers and say up and she is on the bed. Would I do it again? Yeah. You don’t leave dogs in small cages.

Was it worth it? Most definitely. When we are hiking in the woods and she comes turning back to me jumping up saying Thanks; that’s worth it. She learned to trust and I learned patience. Just watch out for the first few years try everything; push but don’t shove, open yourself to the dog and let them close that chasm which to you looks so small but to them may be miles across. Sounds a lot like life doesn’t it!

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58 comments so far

  1. Roxanne @ Champion of My Heart on

    Terrific story. I wonder if they live anywhere near us (in Golden). I would love to meet Ellie.

    • fearfuldogs on

      Can’t remember where they live Roxanne. Maybe Vince will read this and tell you!

  2. Hilary on

    Debbie, I’m so glad you shared this. What a story–with a fine ending! It’s great that Vince keeps in touch. Maybe those crystals do work!

  3. Amy@GoPetFriendly on

    Pure inspiration. “Open yourself to the dog and let them close the chasm.” I think I’ll tattoo that on my forehead. =)

  4. Sweetpea on

    YES, as Amy just said, am tattooing too!
    Thank you SO MUCH for posting that lovely missive. My own fur-gal has had/does have her challenges and it is patience that has brought us through every time.
    Vince, bless you for that.

    • fearfuldogs on

      I love his words too! When I was ready to give up on Sunny sometimes I never would have thought of trading him for a ‘dry cow’. But it fits!

  5. honeysjourney on

    What a fantastic example of patience and love, a real life story confirming the sentence in the book “Bones” “…we are to be bound to them through an investment of our attention.” It’s in the eyes, beautiful light brown, inquisitive eyes.

    Thank you Debbie for posting and Vince for writing.

    George

    • fearfuldogs on

      I shared your site with Vince and he had kind words to say about you too!

  6. Vince on

    Thanks for the kind and warm comments. On my appointment with Ellie I will see if she is accepting readings!!!!! George good comment from Bones. Enjoyed the book as well. Patience was the single hardest lesson for me a double Aries. Sometimes it takes too long for my next normal eye blink.
    Roxanne I live in Norwood near Telluride. If you are ever in the area you would be most welcome. Ellie is past much with me but still a way to go with other people. She is getting there But you know the drill and would most likely make that dog hunt. Vince_egan@yahoo.com

    Again thanks to all for reading, commenting and to Debbie for making this forum available.

  7. Cupcake Queen on

    Wow! What an awesome post…brought tears to my eyes!

  8. Lizzie on

    ‘Remember the dog does all the work. You just think of the opportunities.’

    This has the most meaning for me and why Gracie has come as far as she has. In the beginning I exploited positive behaviour that she did naturally and encouraged her to repeat it. But patience is the key as Vince says.

    Love Ellie’s story thanks for sharing it 🙂

  9. Jim Stay on

    Debbie, thanks for sharing Vince’s story. This is beautifully written as well as insightful. I can relate to everything he says.

    Please ask Vince to start a blog and share more of his experience with us.

    Jim

    • fearfuldogs on

      Hey Vince! You reading this?

      Thanks Jim, I’m with you, hope Vince will keep writing.

  10. Vince on

    Jim thanks for the comments. I am truly appreciative. So yes Debbie I am reading this. I don’t even know how to do such a thing. More research is required!!!! I’ll give it a shot.
    Thanks Again all.

    • honeysjourney on

      Vince, just go for it. I didn’t either, and really still don’t, ” know how to do such a thing,” but it is well worth the “trial and error” to gett’er done.

      George

  11. Deborah Flick on

    “…push but don’t shove, open yourself to the dog and let them close that chasm which to you looks so small but to them may be miles across.” Lovely and so heartfelt. And I’m totally envious of Ellie’s yard!

  12. k9diabetes on

    What a wonderful story… we have a milder version of Ellie who joined our home two years ago. I think it would have helped us tremendously to have read this before our border collie Jack came into our life. He and we are doing the work and making progress and it is heartening to hear how you and Ellie have made such great strides.

    • fearfuldogs on

      Thanks for reading and commenting. Vince has put his heart into that dog, and I think she’s managed to get some hers into him as well.

  13. Vince on

    thanks for al the comments. I have just returned from a business trip to China. I could not reach this website. I will reply to all the good thoughts and how your own trips are progressing. Didn’t want anyone to think I was forgetting. The story of Ellie and Hank will continue. Thanks again. If Ellie helps one other dog then the work has more heart…

  14. AnnMcHugh on

    Beatiful Vince. We pulled a young terrified eskie out of a gassing shelter in Georgia right after the Katrina mess. Tey said “mix”, but I was pretty sure she was a puppymill escapee/reject. Having had eskies since I was a young girl, I thought I understood the breed well enough to help her become a “normal” dog. After her initial “I’ll be good or they’ll beat me or throw me out” period, all her fears came to the surface. It has been a long, interesting journey filled with band-aids(mine!),small break-thrus, minor victories(hers in overcoming fears), and an understanding that she’ll never be what I had hoped, but she is as loving, sweet dog who has taught us patience and who tries very hard be one of the “gang” and we love her for what she is -with all her little quirks and “rituals”-she never knew that we’d never give up on her because as you said “you don’t leave dogs in smallcages”

  15. Joanie on

    I really appreciate this story and the comments. A few months ago we rescued a white pit bull/terrior mix. They found her in the woods and it took them 3 days to capture her, she was fast, and terrified. She is a fearful dog, the “I”ll be good or they’ll beat me” really rang home for her. We got her at 6 months, she’ s about 8 months now, and is fine with me, but still fearful with my husband, in spite of his kindnesses. I guess there is still hope if we stay patient and let her tell us what she’s afraid of. Thanks so much for the story. We love her so much, she’s such a sweet girl.

    • fearfuldogs on

      Hopefully your husband does not take the dog’s response to him personally. If he can ignore the dog initially this can be helpful since it is often the pressure to interact that the is uncomfortable and unskilled at. Check out fearfuldogs.com for more ideas about how to help this dog. Patience & lots of good treats are key.

  16. Vince on

    I sure have appreciated all the wonderful comments. If Ellie’s story helps just one “Boy and his Dog” then ; well I was going to say it would have been worth it but it was was worth it by itself. I have been on the road for what seems like a lifetime recently. There will be more about Eliie and Hank. I hope he can learn to not take it too personally. Ellie went to other guys before she came To me. Ellie sit between fresh bear droppings before she came to me.
    Until then here is a quick question; What are the 2 most used words in the English language?
    Peace and patience.

  17. Rae on

    Another beautiful story that has been voiced. Thank you. Sometimes you feel like giving up but you never can. You won’t just fail yourself but you’ll fail them and the whole point of life is to go beyond yourself, to give to something more and larger than yourself. Working with acceptance and patience, softness and kindness is something us naturally impatient humans have to work at, but is it ever worth it!!!

    • fearfuldogs on

      Hopefully Vince is still getting notified about comments made about his blog. It was a lovely piece.

  18. Vince on

    Hello from a rainy snowy sleeting sunny Colorado day. Ellie and Hank are waiting patiently for me to do what I am supposed to do which near as I can tell is entertaining the. I have been working on Chapter 2 of HanknEllie. It’s getting hard to tell where the POW ends and the manipulative princess begins!!!!! Watching her now is like discovering another planet. Most of the time she is so close to a normal dog but still retaining her Gemini Sarah Bernhardt manipulative..well I did spoil her to get her here. I have been on the road in Asia for awhile but have been able to read these but not comment. Absence certainly makes Ellie’s heart grow fonder though I think it’s more like the hikes, the Frisbee and the swims.

    • fearfuldogs on

      The moment anyone thinks they operate solely under the guise of free choice, they need to have a closer look at animal behavior;-) Whether we are manipulated by our dogs or our brain chemistry, so long as it leads to healthy fun & games, why worry? Hope it’s good to be home.

  19. Vince on

    Free choice? Never saw the vet bill!!!! No worries it is good to be out with the dogs. They are a pice of work or should that be a peace of work…I have many friends and that by itself is fortunate but they all tell me when they die they want to come back as one of my dogs! I want to come back as one of my dogs. I’m just happy that these dogs always come back. Ellie must have had some early training before the door slammed shut because she knows some commands like heel and down. Those two she does but Ellie Come; Ellie Come Now may as well be an echo of my mother calling me! Sins of the after and all that. So the first few years was the lesson in patience and humility. The payoff is now. I am delighted to see her smile or to come running back to me or looking like Michael Jordan when she goes up after a Frisbee. Hank? Hank is her pal and a darn good dog. He is a big border but that might be part of the next story.
    Thanks for all the listening and comments.

  20. Vince on

    I have been trying to write another chapter on Ellie but what do you write about a dog that has gone from terrified to just a little eccentric. I think some of the triggers will always be there but the are vestigial now. She is a real dog. Her teeth are almost worn down in some spots from her old days of trying to chew through a chain link fence. I am certaiN she was kicked and hit with sticks. Now however she is the queen of al she surveys. She and Hank are like Roy Rogers and Dale Evans. She is just a happy dog and how much can you write about that. It was a long road. Thankfully she was not a fearful dog just mistreated into fear. She sends her love. Thanks ofr all the kind thoughts and good wishes.
    Now Ellie sits on my lap, let’s me put a baseball cap on her head, comes back to me on hikes I think just to say thanks Pa for not ever giving up on me.

  21. Jessie on

    Wonderful story-inspiring! I have a mix and she does the same odd things especially picky about food and dipping her head in and out of the water, picking food out of the bowl, placing it on the floor, then eating it! Keep up the good work!

  22. Vince on

    I know I know I was going to keep updates coming as they came but the were so fast it was impossible. Ellie went from prisoner to princess. Now she sits on my lap in the truck, swims with me, rolls around in the field. Not quite the normal dog But she does look to me for guidance and some protection. Her least favorite word is come but now I can follow it with a VERY stern “Now Ellie” and she comes.
    So for all the hopes and best wishes we are very grateful. She is a terrific dog and it was worth the tears, frustration, anger, PATIENCE (not my favorite word)

    • Debbie on

      I never doubted you would win Ellie over Vince!

      Debbie Jacobs Fearfuldogs.com

      • Vince on

        Thanks Debbie. I had a few but she came through! She is still a Red headed Gemini shape shifter. No apologies to all the Gemini’s out there you know who you are;-) You were a big help Debbie and I know the charms helped. She now digs out small critters from under rocks, not very successfully and rolls in everything. The best part is I van tell her to go “bring ’em in” about the horses and she mostly gets ’em to me. Life is Good!! Hope is well with you now out to the horses………….

  23. bringingupbella on

    This is such a beautiful story. Before I even finished reading it, I forwarded it to my husband knowing he will appreciate so much of what Vince says here. It’s hard enough to have a fearful dog but at least I don’t have to deal with the personal feeling of rejection and, in my husband’s case, fear.

    Thank you, Vince, for your wise words and your encouragement that, though they may be difficult, these dogs are still so worth the effort.

    • Vince Egan on

      thanks to all. I do expect to add a little bit to this post as Ellie is now more princess than prisoner. Actually there has been a prisoner exchange; her openness for my undying alpha dog entertainment as if I was on a USO tour. She talks non stop when she wants to get my self out of the house/office to entertain her or better yet provide her frisbee fix.

      • fearfuldogs on

        I’d love to post an update about you and Ellie! I’ve shared your story recently with a couple of men who are struggling with dogs who are afraid of them. I suspect one fellow in particular may end up with a similar tale. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for him and his shy herding dog.

      • Vince Egan on

        i am working on it. SHe is almost unnatural dog now and her activities are the stuff of legend….Well maybe just what the hey? WE are now teaching her, maybe, to lift a paw using “May I kiss your Ring” Always glad to help. Ellie wasn’t really a fearful dog just scared and now she has become a daddy’s girl

  24. Lynn on

    Thank you, Vince, for mentioning that Ellie went to other men before she came to you. My husband has been so patient with our border collie mix, Tulip; he spent the first six months after her adoption walking slowly sideways in the house so he wouldn’t look at her, or scare her too much, and it hurts his feelings to see that after two years she’s more comfortable with a couple of men we know than with him — at least indoors. He needs all the encouragement he can get, and your story is very encouraging.

    • Vince Egan on

      Lynn She went to everyone before she came to me. Tell him to hang in there. Ellie became a Daddy’s girl but it took hours of doing whta she wanted. Now of course she is a spoiled princess that loves her pa!!!!

  25. Vince Egan on

    Lynn
    I know the feeling. Ellie would sit on Lefty’s lap at arms length (37″ sleeve) and I would reach out, looking the other way all the time, with a spoon of ice cream or graham crackers dipped in milk. Had to be dipped in milk. The vet, god love him, told me if I kept that up she would never eat dog food. Okay so she would never eat dog food. That was a too long range goal. SO there we sat watching a movie sharing a dish of ice cream with no eye contact; my arm being firected by my wife like she was a drone pilot to reach Ellies mouth and slowly, it seemed like a lava flow, she began to reach a little further then a little further….no she has me….

  26. Nancy Freedman-smith on

    Excellent and just what I needed to read after the post that made the rounds last week about the woman who used force on her now dead dog. Well done!

    • Debbie Jacobs on

      Vince worked long and hard with Ellie, and it paid off.

      • Vince Egan on

        You sure helped Debbie. Did the charms work? Whose to say they didn’t!

  27. Vince Egan on

    The saga of Ellie herself continues. Now she is not only not fearful but now she’s just barely camera shy.
    https://www.dropbox.com/sh/x7ut92s58ta76wr/AACEcWLTD2tlG88ZbIGSs0Hsa

    • fearfuldogs on

      I love watercolors! What beautiful art. Who’s the artist? Thanks for sharing your inspiration with us!

      • Vince Egan on

        The artist? Why she is the one who was Ellie’s safe harbor in the early times. Lefty, my beautiful bride, wrote and illustrated this additional chapter of Ellie’s life. There are probably more to come.

  28. fearfuldogs on

    That is fantastic news Vince. I shared it in the Fearful Dogs group I moderate on Facebook.

    • Vince on

      Good Debbie. SHe has gone from terrified to terrorize….and now she is Daddy’s girl. Geez what an extremist! Ellie’s 8 now. Sure she has her moments….like when we are playing Frisbee………she might not want to bring it back, just lay in the grass staring at me until I ask her “Dang it Ellie are you a bad girl” And over she saunters “Oh yes I know but aren’t I cute…..”
      Sure was glad to have had your help Debbie.

      • fearfuldogs on

        Your story continues to be an inspiration to many people Vince. I feel lucky to have been a part of it. Even in a small, collar pendant kind of way.

  29. kaufmanheritagesociety on

    Thank you for the encouragement. A friend rescued a border collie that had lived alone in a field for almost 2 years. She would go feed and water him everyday but he could never let her touch him. Finally animal control trapped him. They had him neutered right away and he got depressed because of the big changes in his life. The shelter asked me to foster him and I did in a heartbeat once I saw those beautiful brown eyes staring up at me while his head rested on his paws and his head down. I knew I had to get him out of there so I took him home. He promptly ran to hide under the big tree at the back of the yard but if I put food out on the patio and disappeared he would come and eat all the while being very watchful. I had another dog with whom I had a tight connection and I think that helped Buddy to come around some. I tried to get him to come into the house during rain storms and he would sit at the bottom of the stairs whining because he wanted to come in but was afraid to come in, but if I left the door open and walked away he would eventually come in.but would still not let me touch him and I never forced it, but he seemed interested in the interaction between my other dog and I. Eventually he let me pet his neck if didn’t make any sudden moves. I knew we had turned the corner when one day I was in the bathroom and he came looking for me. I nearly cried – he was developing a bond, however slight. Today, 3 years later he will sleep on the bed with me sometimes, otherwise he sleeps under my bed.. Now when people come into the house he hides in around the corner in the hallway for a minute then comes out to smell them. I tell people to ignore him and pretty soon, when they sit down he will cautiously aproach them for a pet or treat. but still stays close to me, He knows, sit, stay, down, shake, and if he feels like it, sometimes comes when he is called. Still lots more to work on, but he has made tremendous progress thanks to encouraging stories like this one from Vince. Lets me know there is hope for more progress.

    • Vince Egan on

      Hi thanks for thinking about her royal highness El of Nor. I’ll be glad to fill in some more details about her ever expanding universe. She is really quite something. Sounds like you have a perfect match. Good job on what you are doing. Please I will update you on herself. And soon

    • Vince Egan on

      You surely did all the right things and it sounds like Buddy appreciates it. Bc’s can be such one person dogs. Ellie is the mistress of illusion; aside from the normal shape shifter reputation. AS Pat Conroy wrote” She makes her own uncontrollable self seems like the most charming thing in the world..more than a match for Anna Karenina, Lady Macbeth or any of Tennessee Williams women..” Her progress has been a series of small cliffs, long plateaus and huge leaps. I never know when they are coming. She still cannot or WILL NOT play a favorite when my beautiful young wife and I are together. She is always poor pitiful Pearl! Who knows what surprises she has in store. Most people that come visit are astonished that “Ellie let me touch her!” as if she was the Rosetta Stone. Hank, our other, more normal BC, has created a “me too” and a “never, never” attitude in Ellie. She plays and carries on with the competitive zeal of Tom Brady and Genghis Khan. She can move cows, bring in the horses, catch flying frisbees, swim after sticks, ford rivers; anything that Hank can do she can do better! It is a real treat and after all she is only 56 in human years. Buddy sounds like Ellie and with her it is hard to tell when it is the act or the the real thing. Oh thunder and gunshots still very bad juju. BUT when she is looking at me with mirth in her eyes and a smile on her face slowly wagon her tail I know it was, is and will always have been worth it. Now I can see her as she would have been and that to me is a gift worth receiving.

      If you don’t believe; you don’t receive!

      • fearfuldogs on

        Such lovely prose about your dogs. I’d love to see a collection.

      • Vince Egan on

        Thanks Debbie…that’s a good idea. Like sand through the hourglass etc.

  30. fearfuldogs on

    It’s not easy to capture the complexity of the relationships we have with our dogs. We continue to be humans and they continue to be dogs, but somehow, somewhere along the evolutionary trail some genetic anomaly was selected for and we’ve ended up with an animal that can turn us into poets.

  31. Vince on

    Terrified to terrorist? Okay maybe too strong a word! Empress of the world crossbred with Vivian Leigh, Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. Maybe we went a little too overboard! Now people come by and Ellie deins to be scratched she always elicits an “oh Ellie let me TOUCH her. I find though that some of the most common English phrases are ” Ellie come……now!! And here she come in an insouciant stroll. She can be a little maddening but when I turn her lose on the herd she is anything but a willfull; maybe if I feel like it; oh you mean me? Dog. She has the strongest eye I have ever seen. she doesn’t do tricks, run courses, chase balls but if it can be herded it will not be denied. I can whisper “bring ’em in” and bang, zoom she is off. Turn coin over! “OK Ellie come back” could be said in the voice of Moses for all the good it sometimes does; but too much is often better than not enough. 8 years now; coy, clever, charming, still surprising, COMPETITIVE, maddening, manipulativel, marvelous and of course how could you not love her. Oh did I say competitive?
    We can train but within that fenced in yard of memory and personality.

    • fearfuldogs on

      Eight years. It flew by didn’t it? And here you are. Ellie has a damn good life and she’s let you into it. 🙂

      • vince on

        sure did Deb and it certainly has been worth? Lol she just finished bring the hosers in smiling like a happy dog. She does know how to work us!!! SO who is giving who the life? HAHAHAHA either way it’s the berries…


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