What Are We Winning Anyway?

Why are we always keeping score?

I overheard a woman talking about a visit with relatives during which a 5 month old baby, lying on the floor with a toy, began crying. The woman’s son asked her to pick up the baby but she declined claiming, “If I pick him up then he wins.” She then went on to prove that she was correct because after being picked up the baby smiled, knowingly as she tells it, as though aware of it scoring a point on that round.

As I listened my forehead furrowed and my jaw dropped and it was all I could do to not respond, “What are you talking about!” Why was she already assuming an adversarial, competitive relationship with a five month old baby? It’s a baby for crying out loud!

I did know what she was talking about though. She was referring to operant conditioning- baby cries, gets picked up, baby learns that crying gets it picked up. Even still I wanted to shout, “SO WHAT!?” What else was he suppose to do, text her? ‘DIAPER WET PLZ CHANGE’, ‘FOOT STUCK IN JAMMIES HELP’. And so what, if heaven forbid, the kid just didn’t want to be alone on the floor anymore?

Had she gone on to say that after watching the baby she could see that he was frustrated because a toy had rolled out of his reach and if left alone he could work on solving the problem himself, I might have reacted differently. I admit I am woefully ignorant of how much a 5 month old is capable of as far as movement and coordination, but at least knowing that she had given thought to why the baby was crying, and not that it was just scheming about how to manipulate grown-ups, I would have been less offended by her attitude.

People tend to respond in similar ways to dogs. What part of our fabulous human brains have we shut off when we can look at an eight week old puppy, cowering against the back of its cage, the rumblings of a growl in its throat, and think it’s trying to dominate us? How someone can watch a dog trembling in fear at the bottom of a flight of stairs and then proceed to drag it up is beyond me. Or the arrogance of believing we should never allow these displays of emotion. And what emotions are they anyway? It’s fear. It’s uncertainty. It’s pain.

Rather than seeing the baby’s smile as an indication that it was aware that it had ‘won’ a round in a non-existent game, this woman could have smiled herself knowing that the simply act of picking up the baby provided him with comfort and relief. How difficult is it to pick up a baby anyway? How incorrect can it be to teach someone or something that the creatures its life depends on, understand them, respect their points of view and will care for them?

In this era of creating dominance hierarchies with practically every being we live with, I suspect that we’re the big losers.

Change of Heart

In the years I have been living with a very fearful dog I have often thought that shelters and rescue groups that adopt out dogs like Sunny are doing a disservice to the people looking for a pet, and ultimately to the rescue industry. I hear people say that they will ‘never adopt a dog again’ after having a negative experience with a dog which they adopted from a shelter. Fearful dogs are just not good for business if you want people to return in the future for another of your ‘products’.

When you speak to other adopters of fearful or shy dogs they have a different tale to tell. They talk about how much they adore their dog, how the dog changed their life, taught them lessons, how they cannot imagine a life without their dog, despite the challenges.

Sunny came into my life when I had the time and inclination to see what progress I could make with him. He has both frustrated and delighted me. I have come to realize that if I witnessed any person display the courage Sunny displays on a daily basis I’d label them ‘inspirational’. When Sunny chooses to remain in a room with someone that frightens him, or finally gets himself through the tire in agility class, he’s showing the kind of courage I rarely need to muster.

Life isn’t easy for a dog that was not properly socialized, and living with one isn’t easy either. I still believe that the time and energy required to help a fearful dog can be more than many of us have to offer, but when paths cross, planets align or the pieces just fall into place, these dogs don’t just change our lives, they change our hearts as well.

Change of Heart by Holly Near

Behavioral Medications For Fearful Dogs

This dog is suffering from his fears.

Behavioral medications can help fearful dogs. So why the reluctance on the part of pet owners to use them? I will share what mine was.

1. Medications can have side effects that will affect the health of my dog.

2. Medications are a cop-out.

3. I didn’t want to ‘medicate’ my dog.

While there are shy or fearful dogs that can learn new behaviors and change how they feel about things that scare them, without the benefit of medications, many more continue to struggle and suffer. This struggling and suffering could be reduced through the professionally supervised use of behavioral medications.

As for my concerns-

1. Yes medications can have side effects. However the behavioral medications available for dogs from veterinarians have been researched for their safety and efficacy. Many others, while not specifically labeled for use with dogs, have also provided relief. The the list of side effects can be daunting on any medication available today, even routinely used over the counter products.

The side effect of fear is stress. Long term stress has its own long list of health damaging side effects with no benefits. Check out these videos of Robert Sapolsky to learn more about the dangers of stress. For my dog I decided that the risks of ongoing stress outweighed those of the medications which have helped him. A blood work panel should be performed before starting any drug regime with your dog.

2. My non-fearful dog with a heart condition was given daily doses of heart medications prescribed by a cardiologist, they did what they were designed to do and improved her quality of life. I didn’t feel as though I was copping out by using them. Another of my non-fearful dogs with low thyroid, gets two tablets a day and has since grown a thick coat of fur, stopped suffering from skin infections and has increased energy. This wasn’t a cop-out either. My fearful dog with neurochemical imbalances in his brain deserves the same consideration.

3. The misconception that behavioral medications act as sedatives to ‘calm’ a dog down, are just that, a misconception. Though sedation may be a side-effect, it should be short-lived. Do your homework on how behavioral medications can help your dog’s brain improve, making it easier for them to learn new responses to fearful provoking stimuli. From Leashes to Neurons by Karen Overall DVM is available through Tawzer Videos. In it Dr. Overall explains how behavioral medications work and why she views them as a powerful tool in the rehabilitation of fearful and aggressive dogs.

There are a variety of other non-medicinal approaches we can take to help our fearful dogs, and I recommend that owners learn about these as well. Many can be used in conjunction with prescription medications, but check with your vet if you have any questions or concerns.

I have seen the most progress in my fearful dog Sunny through the use of medication. These medications are also the most cost effective product I have purchased, which may not be a selling point for some folks, but it sure helps when you are caring for multiple dogs. It can take time to discover the medication and dosage which provides the most benefits to your dog.

Behavioral medications, namely the SSRIs, TCAs and benzodiazepines are not cures for fearfulness, but along with a playful training program, they sure aren’t cop-outs either.

Risk of mishandling a fearful dog

Depending on the situation, when faced with something scary a dog has limited choices as to how to respond. Early in the life of a fearful dog many choose to move (i.e., run as fast as they can) away from things that scare them, if this is an option. This is the behavior that the dog is more likely to repeat as it gets older, which is why ‘catching’ a feral dog is such a challenge.

This changes when we put a collar and leash on a scared dog. When we force a dog to move toward something that scares them, believing that this will help the dog learn to feel less afraid of it, we can end up with unwanted results. One of these results is that we are training the dog to move toward something that scares them. So long as we have a leash on them we can control their behavior, but we’re not controlling their emotions. They are feeling fear and likely of a higher intensity than when they had the option to move away. Move a scared dog closer to what scares them and their behavioral response may become exaggerated. A dog that once cowered and slunk away now growls, snarls or even bites.

Until a fearful dog has the skills to be around their triggers, and their feelings of fear do not overwhelm them, moving away from them is a good choice to make. This keeps the dog, and the people and other dogs around them, safe.

For more information on helping your fearful dog visit the Fearful Dogs website and the author’s Examiner.com articles on dog behavior and training

Keeping Holidays Happy For Your Dog

Life with a fearful dog requires additional management to ensure that our pets are kept safe and as stress free as possible. There are simple steps that an owner can take to help make the holidays a time of joy and happiness for everyone.

Be sure that your dog has a ’safe’ space to retreat. As much as we might want our dogs to be involved with all aspects of our lives, for the shy, nervous or fearful dog, being in the thick of things only adds to their anxiety. Before the holidays designate a place for your dog where it can be undisturbed and comfortable. For some dogs a crate or mat in the corner of the living room might suffice. Others may need to be further away from the festivities. Good things should happen in this space, marrow bones are chewed, meals are eaten, treats are shared, stuffed toys are disemboweled. Do this well before the holidays so your dog can learn to feel good in their safe space.

Discuss medication options with a vet. For dogs that are afraid of people, having celebrating guests around, even if they ignore the dog, can be stressful. There are medications that can be used situationally to help your dog feel less anxious. If your dog does feel anxious while people are around it will only reinforce that feeling and make it more likely to occur again in the future. There are other calming options available that do not require a prescription from the vet, experiment with these to find ones that help your dog.

Research boarding kennels before the holiday rush. If you must board your dog during the holidays be sure that the staff understand your dog’s needs. Be specific as to how you want your dog handled, do not assume that kennel staff know how to interact with scared dogs. Draping something over their kennel door might be comforting to your pet. Bring your dog to the site several times before leaving them, make it a positive experience for them with treats and games. Medications and other calming options might be appropriate here as well.

Take advantage of holiday roasts. Giving your dog a tasty tidbit (but avoid the fat!) each time the doorbell rings, or someone comes into your home can go a long way toward changing how your dog feels about new arrivals.

A happy and safe holiday season to you all!

They Are What They Eat

It’s not news that the quality of food we eat affects our health. The same is true for our dogs. It is possible however to get too much of a good thing, obesity is a serious health issue which can also impact a dog’s quality of life.

Here are a few simple ways to improve your fearful dog’s health.

1. Purchase the highest quality of dog food you can afford. Research a raw food diet for your pet and the availability of raw foods in your area. You may be surprised to discover that raw foods may cost the same or less than prepared kibbles or canned food.

2. Add a probiotic to your dog’s meals. Probiotic bacteria help to synthesize certain vitamins and support the immune system.

3. Provide your dog with a high quality fish oil supplement. A deficiency of DHA, which is found in fish oil, has been linked with aggression and depression. DHA is essential for brain function.

4. Keep your dog’s weight in its normal range. An easy way to help cut calories is to use your dog’s meals as treats throughout the day.

Thanksgiving Thought

As challenging and frustrating as living with a fearful dog can be, learning to work with one successfully is the best education any trainer (and we are all our dogs’ trainers) can have. Here is my Thanksgiving thought of the day:

One of the ways that shy dogs help us become better trainers is they force us to acknowledge that they are behaving the way they are behaving for a reason, and even if we don’t like and can control the behavior, it behooves us to consider what elicited the behavior in the first place. We can suspect that for many dogs, but especially our shy ones, stress of some kind and at some level is motivating them. Our response can either add to or help decrease that stress, you make the choice.

Don’t forget to cut up some leftover turkey into small bits and put a few bags in the freezer so you have them on hand for counter conditioning sessions with your dog. And go ahead, eat too much pie!

Games One Shy Dog Owner Plays

Laurie from Saskatchewan recently shared some of the ways she discovered for inspiring her fearful dog Chewy to play. I didn’t want them to get lost in the ‘comment’ section of this blog so with her permission am sharing them with you here. Thanks Laurie!

Will that be cash or kibble?

Fetch is usually Chewy’s activity of choice so I’ve used that to teach her numerous words and phrases. (She knows approx 100 words/actions and related hand signals so far). It worked well right from the beginning (in the house) because we could interact in close proximity in an exciting, fun way without any physical touching unless she approached me directly.

I would sit on the floor several feet away and roll a ball to her or past her. She quickly became an incredible goalie. The only way I could win was to cheat- throw it over her head. She then learned to leap in the air and “grab” or “catch” those too.

The “go find it game” is one of the best teaching, bonding and confidence tools I know and fabulous mental exercise for her- a must for all dogs IMO and especially border collies. I started with hiding her ball or other favorite toys in plain view (behind me) while sitting on the floor and telling her to find it. Then I put on a jacket or hoodie and hid a toy on me while she watched-in my pockets, in the hood, up the back, get her excited and then tell her to find it. You can use a treat as well if your dog isn’t into toys. Once she knew the game, I would tell her to “stay”, then leave the room, hide it on me and return to sit and let her go at it.

The main reason I hid them on me in the very early days is that it made her eager to interact with me physically (sniffed me from head to toe, shoved her nose in my pocket, down my neck, pushed up the back of the hoodie to get the toy out). It always made me laugh out loud and she loves when I do that. Again, I just cheerily sat there without making a move to touch her at first.

Within a few months, she could find numerous objects by name in complex hiding places – upstairs on top of a door frame, on top of dressers or tables, under quilts and pillows, in the laundry hamper etc. If she can’t physically bring them to me, she signals she found the item by sitting or laying beside it.

When we go out, I ask her to find and bring her collar, leash, poop bag, my keys, purse. (Still won’t carry the latter. Too heavy maybe? lol) These items are never in the same place, so it’s actually very helpful. Helps me gather up laundry too.

She picks up items if I drop them at home and even at pet stores. There she carries them to the cashier and jumps up and puts it on the counter. As you can imagine, this took months but has done wonders for her confidence.

We did a lot of fun work at pet stores for very short stints at first at least 3x per week. It was scary for her at first with new sights, sounds and people, but it wasn’t long before she loved going there and we then moved to manners and polite greetings (feet on the floor please).

I also used a nearby park when no one was there to teach recall in a fun way. I used a long drag line (30′) at first. When she had explored for too long without looking at me, I would hide behind a tree and call her name and tell her to come find me. Other times I would just hide without calling her and she would always come barreling over to see where I’d gotten to. She was sooo excited to find me and it wasn’t long before she always kept an eye out for me to ensure I didn’t get lost.

Her reward for coming each time? Big praise, laughter, and being told to “go play”. My reward is now having a dog who will stop on a dime no matter what she’s doing, chasing dogs at the dog park, escorting a cat or squirrel out of the yard, and come to me every time I call her.

I also find it very effective to either squat down or go down on one knee and open my arms wide in getting her to come when I called her. Many people stand and bend forward over the dog as they arrive which can be very intimidating and threatening. Now all I have to do is drop into this position and she’ll come roaring over without me having to say a word. Great for longer distance communication too!

So for me, educating a fearful dog is at the top of my list. But if I do it right, she’ll never know that’s what it is.

Teaching A Dog To Play

Sunny making up with Derby

One of the search terms that landed a reader on the Fearful Dog’s blog was ‘how do I teach my shy dog to play with other dogs?’ Owners often want to give their dogs the opportunity to play with other dogs, which for a dog that enjoys playing with other dogs, is a kind and reasonable thing to do. But for many dogs, playing with other dogs is not their definition of a good time.

To answer the question though, the best way to teach a shy dog to play with another dog is to find a playful, socially adept, non-threatening dog to give the lessons. Watching dogs play is fun and an easy way to get them exercised, but if a dog is afraid of other dogs, is an older dog, or never had the chance to play with other dogs, it might be simpler and less stressful to all involved to find other ways to play. Dogs don’t have to play with other dogs to get along with them or feel comfortable with them.

We say ‘different strokes for different folks’ and the same is true for dogs. My shy dog Sunny grew up in a pen with other dogs, he is a playing fool and adapts his style of play to suit his playmate. I’ve watched him play with Italian Greyhounds and Great Pyrenees (not at the same time!). The newest addition to our household, a five year old female Cocker Spaniel, appears to try to engage dogs with playful intent but it’s too aggressive for most and usually backfires. I actively discourage her from trying to play with other dogs, and she’s fine with this because her attempts often end badly for both dogs. Perhaps there’s a dog out there that would be a good match for her, but I’ve yet to find one. In the meantime she’s content to go for runs in the woods with other dogs, chase balls and gnaw on stuffed toys. I don’t think she suffers from the lack of dog play at this point in her life, though earlier experience with a well mannered player might have made her better at it.

Rough and tumble play between dogs is important for social development but not if a dog is uncomfortable with it or becomes too aroused by it. If you’re not sure what is appropriate and fun play between dogs find a trainer who can help you learn. If your dog doesn’t want to play with other dogs, don’t worry about. Try to find ways that you can become your dog’s favorite playmate.

P.E.T. Therapy: A Protocol For Fearful Dogs*

Play: Begin by figuring out what rocks your dog’s world. If the dog is too afraid to engage in playful behaviors with or without your involvement you need to lower their stress level. It may mean changing their environment, giving them a place where they feel safer or are exposed to triggers less often or intensely. Changing how you and others interact with the dog may be in order. Speaking to a vet about medications that help lower your dog’s stress level & also improves their ability to learn new skills and behaviors, should be at the top of every fearful dog owner’s list.

Do not limit your definition of what play is, it will vary from dog to dog. A young dog might engage in more rough and tumble play while an older dog might enjoy a game of finding hidden treats or chewing on a bone.

Exercise: Studies have shown that exercise helps animals cope with stress. While any type of exercise is likely to be beneficial to a dog’s health, try to find activities which allow the dog freedom of movement so that they have the opportunity to use their bodies in varying ways. Exercise can look like or be play.

Training: I could ruffle feathers and say that ‘training is the last thing a fearful dog needs’! The reality is that we are training our dogs whether we are conscious of it or not. But rather than begin our work with a fearful dog by thinking about what we want or need from them and focusing on that, begin by discovering what makes your dog feel happy and playful. A fearful dog is very good at feeling afraid and reacting in fearful ways, most are less competent at feeling happy and positively excited about life. By giving them the opportunity to practice feeling good we are also making it easier for them to focus on what we are trying to teach them.

Training should be done in the most dog-friendly ways possible. Anything that scares or stresses your dog, especially early in your relationship is only going to make the process of rehabilitation more challenging. If the training you are doing with your dog looks like play even better!

P.E.T. Therapy will help change your dog’s brain and thinking about it will change yours as well.

*copyright 2009 Debbie Jacobs